Catholic Godparent Rules
The Catholic Church has managed to aggravate me again. Chrissy would like to have Aiden baptised in the church that her family has gone to for years. I don’t mind this at all. Chrissy’s family is Catholic, and they are very active in the local Catholic church. Chrissy would like to raise Aiden with structure and a healthy conscience, and it wouldn’t hurt to have him participate with his extended family. I’m fine with this as well. I encourage it, in fact.
Chrissy and I went to St. James in Highland for the baptism class, where a deacon explained to us what would happen during the ceremony. The godfather and godmother are expected to participate in the ceremony also. Well, great, since we know exactly who we want to help guide our child to be a good person with strong morals and values. But wait, those people aren’t allowed to be your child’s godparents. Why not? We trust these people implicitly, and we know that their presence in Aiden’s life will contribute to his well being.
The reason is that they are not Catholic. You have to be a card-carrying, dues-paying, actively-practicing Catholic in order to be a godparent in a Catholic baptism. Aside from Chrissy’s immediate family, we don’t know any practicing Catholics. This limits our valid choices of godparents to Chrissy’s two younger sisters, Katie and Julie (Cassie isn’t old enough to be a valid godparent yet). So we can’t go with our first choices for godparents? No, not if you want your son to be baptised Catholic. And don’t forget, if he’s not baptised Catholic, then he can’t participate in any other Catholic sacraments, essentially being religiously alienated from his mother’s family.
I see the need here; the Church expects the godparents to help in raising the boy to be a good Catholic, which would require the godparents to be Catholic themselves. I’m just aggravated by the fact that I don’t get a choice in the matter (or at least, not my first choice). I think that Katie and Julie will make fine godparents, even if slightly redundant. I consider the act of asking someone to be a godparent to be something like asking them to join your immediate family. I wasn’t expecting to make family members into godparents, since they’re already family (a relationship that Chrissy and I hold very dear to us), hence the redundancy.
But them’s the rules. So, Aiden will be baptised at St. James church on 45th and Kennedy in Highland on January 7th. I hope that my family can come, even though they’re not Catholic.
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I hear frustration in your reaction, and I’d love to talk to you about it more, if you’d like to carry on a dialogue with me.
From what I understand, you’re confused about the role of a godparent in a Catholic Christian baptism. I’m not sure where you got the idea that “the act of asking someone to be a godparent to be something like asking them to join your immediate family” because the Church doesn’t represent it that way. Godparents reinforce spiritual development through the Catholic church. You wouldn’t want anyone to teach your child without teaching credentials, nor would you want a faith leader for your child who doesn’t practice that faith themselves.
It makes sense that you would follow the rules if you join any organization. You describe qualities like “structure and a healthy conscience”, “good person with strong morals and values” – which is good but you’re missing a profession of Christian faith, theology, and commitment to Catholic Christian beliefs.
Thanks for your reply, Julia. I understand these things, but at the time I was looking at them from a decidedly non-Catholic point of view. Both of my boys were baptized Catholic in the same church, where my wife’s family attends. All three of my wife’s sisters were alter girls there, and two of them are godparents to our boys. I haven’t converted to Catholicism, but I’ve learned a lot through my boys.