ToyCast Fiftieth Episode Contribution
Greetings, this is Michael Wilson, coming to you… FROM THE FUTURE! In honor of Geekcast Radio Network’s Toycast fiftieth episode, I decided to call in from the year 2034, the fiftieth anniversary of the Transformers franchise. Why go through all the trouble of trans-temporal communications? Because I have to tell you — Takara-Hasbro-Sony has pulled out all the stops for their 50th Anniversary Robot Companion Optimus Prime. He’s a human-sized replica of the original Optimus Prime, like a big-ol’ Masterpiece Prime in your living room. He’s five feet tall, can transform by himself AND he talks in Peter Cullen’s voice. Listen: “One shall stand, One shall fall!“. They have Peter on ice so they can record his lines for Transformers forever.
To preface, Sony started marketing their consumer robot line, the “Robot Companions”, in 2019. They’re old hat by now, used as butlers, dog walkers, and house keepers — but then the very vocal Transformers Party started demanding a Transformer version. After the Transformers Party took the Senate in 2032, Sony finally acquiesced, partnered with Takara-Hasbro, and built one that actually transforms! I have little need for a three-foot tall semi truck in my house (With wheels, no less! How quaint!), but Prime still functions as a consumer-grade household appliance in robot mode. I’ve got him answering my holo-mail now, cooking me pancakes in the morning, and battling spam-bots in the front yard (they come to your house now!).
But here’s the best part (been waiting 25 years for this): No more buying Prime repaints! The nano-paint on Robot Companion Prime can actually change colors when you touch the Matrix in his chest. I’ll just pop open the chest panels (whoosh!), and there’s the Matrix! You can’t see it, but it shines with its own inner glow, and it’s big enough for an adult to hold up, Rodimus-style, to light their darkest hour. There, now he’s white and pale blue for Ultra Magnus. And now he’s Black and Teal for Scourge. And now he’s green and yellow for Chupacabra Buster, that’s when Prime defeated the Chupacabras. Well, that hasn’t happened yet for you, but just know that things get bumpy for the human race around, oh, 2015.
No, I’ve already said too much! I’m risking quantum paradoxical synergies by just calling back like this! Just know that this is the Transformers figure to wait for! Try to stay alive long enough to own one of these (remember, 2015 is the rough patch!). He was almost too expensive to afford on my retirement account, but he’s well worth it! With any luck, the designer for 50th Anniversary Prime will hear this and make it their life’s work to build it, or else, y’know, this future might not exist. So, this is Michael Wilson, signing off, FROM THE FUTURE!
– For a recorded version of this contribution, please listen to episode 50 of the GCRN ToyCast podcast.
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hahahahahahahahahahahaha
I find it very wrong that they would keep Peter Cullen on ice lol
TFG1Mike´s last blog: ToyCast – Episode 50 – The Massive Record